Self-mastery is not about being the maestro but rather about knowing how fast we can bounce back
I recently received feedback that stung: after a training session I poured my heart into, a participant said while they appreciated my enthusiasm, the content lacked depth in addressing their specific challenges. My heart sank, and I questioned my effectiveness on whether I was truly making an impact. But self-mastery isn’t about perfection, like a maestro—it’s about how quickly we process, reflect, and bounce back.
When I revisited the feedback, I realised it wasn’t an attack on my abilities but an opportunity for growth. I saw gaps like providing actionable insights that could be implemented immediately. There will always be hits and misses in this journey as an educator, but in these times, I need to remind myself about my purpose—to inspire and empower leaders to become better leaders—with that purpose in mind, I picked myself up, refined my approach, and kept going.
PRACTICAL STEPS TO BOUNCE BACK QUICKLY
Pause and Acknowledge: Allow yourself a moment to process the feedback. Acknowledge how it makes you feel without judgment (e.g., “It hurt”). Emotional awareness is the first step toward responding constructively.
Separate Emotion from Insight: Identify the constructive elements in the feedback. Ask yourself, What’s the core message here? What can I learn from this? This helps shift focus from feeling attacked to seeing an opportunity for growth.
Seek Clarification: If the feedback isn’t clear, ask for specifics to fully understand their perspective.
Create an Action Plan: Break down the feedback into actionable steps that address specific gaps.
Implement and Refine: Apply the changes in your next session. Treat it as an experiment to improve and optimize.
Practice Self-Compassion: Growth involves setbacks. Replace self-criticism with affirmations of your commitment and effort.
Reflect and Celebrate Progress: After addressing the feedback, reflect on what went well. Celebrate small wins - they’re proof you’re moving forward.
Self-mastery isn’t about never falling—it’s about how fast you bounce back, dust yourself off, and use the fall as a stepping stone for growth.
How do you overcome the temporary sting of criticism?