Part 1: Navigating the friend-manager tightrope
๐ด When I did a recent live demo of the Leadership Pod (a peer leadership group programme Iโll be conducting in Jan 2024, more details below!) this leadership subject was a hot topic. The participants wanted to find out how to delicately balance their professional authority with their personal connection to their team members.
Young leaders dream of building a team where camaraderie and team performance thrives. I myself have been there before, and I stepped on many toes trying to strike the right balance.
Here are some of my learnings: a step-by-step guide in walking the friend-manager tightrope. (Next week Iโll be sharing what to do if that friendship line is inadvertently crossed)
๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ ๐: ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ญ
Make it known from the beginning that while you value friendship, there are professional boundaries that must be respected. Communicate the expectations for work-related matters and overall performance to ensure everyone is on the same page.
๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ ๐: ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐๐ข๐ง ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ
During work hours, separate professional interactions from personal ones. Focus on tasks and deadlines, and keep personal discussions to a minimum.
๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ ๐: ๐
๐จ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐ง๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฌ
Encourage team bonding activities that are inclusive and promote a sense of unity after work hours, e.g. lunch outings, or casual Friday activities. I like to go the extra mile to get to know my team a little bit more on a personal level e.g. share cat videos to teammates who adore cats, ask how a parent is doing if theyโre unwell, and sometimes surprise them with small individualised gifts.
๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ ๐: ๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ข๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐๐ญ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ
Consistency is key. Treat all team members fairly and equally to avoid perceptions of favouritism. If one employee perceives that your friendship with another is affecting work-related decisions, it can lead to resentment and a breakdown of team dynamics.
๐๐ญ๐๐ฉ ๐: ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐ก๐๐ง ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐
Recognizing the appropriate times to shift from friend to manager is crucial. When discussing work-related issues or providing feedback, switch to a more formal tone to reinforce your managerial role. It's important for your team to understand that while you may be friends, work-related discussions require a different level of professionalism.
Finding the right balance between being a friend and a manager is an ongoing process. Regularly reflect on the dynamics within your team and redefine the boundaries if needed. Your ultimate role as a leader is to prioritise the professional growth and success of your team while maintaining a friendly atmosphere.