Talking about emotions without getting emotional
“Is being emotional unprofessional? Is it ok to show emotions in the workplace?”
I’ve been asked these questions a few times before and the long and short of it is: Yes, it’s okay to be a little vulnerable at work. But it depends on one condition: competency.
According to celebrated organisational psychologist Adam Grant, if we’re going to be vulnerable with our emotions at the workplace, we should do so in a way that won’t cast doubt on our competence.
Imagine that a newcomer to your team suddenly opens up genuinely to you about their troubles at home and how it’s affecting their work. I’m pretty sure you’ll be less forgiving to this staff member because they haven’t proven themselves yet with work.
Once you’ve established your competencies and built up a reputation as someone dependable, then I would strongly suggest not bottling up your emotions. Whether it’s something in your work or personal life or even disturbing things going on in the world, it’s best to learn to acknowledge and manage these issues while they’re still small before they fester and explode six months later in front of your boss.
Here are some suggestions on how to manage your emotions more responsibly at work:
If you're dealing with some matters, talk about it without projecting that emotion on the people around you, including your boss.
You aren’t required to get into the details of your life, it’s enough to just say “I’m currently feeling very frustrated and am not at my best right now. Please allow me a day and some space, and I’ll bounce back.”
Channel your emotional energy into something more strategic instead.
When things are frustrating or distressing, venting might feel therapeutic but is only a short-lived relief. If your energy is focused on rehashing the same thing over and over again with no positive action taken, you’ll be stuck in a cycle of constant anger.
If you channel that energy into taking a more productive next step, you might be able to tackle your issue head on. Many well known movements were born out of anger, such as #MeToo.
Just remember, you’re encouraged to practice vulnerability in the workplace as long as you’ve established your competencies. Just like any muscle, it needs to be trained. ●