Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice
A recent incident reminded me of the difference between a good leader and a great one.
Think about all the bosses you respected. They were probably knowledgeable and accomplished, but the reason you probably liked being around them and aspired to be more like them was because of their kindness.
Now I am not referring to “weak” kindness, where a leader becomes a doormat to others’ demands. I’m referring to “wise” kindness, where a leader chooses to hold back their self-interest in favour of their team’s welfare, even though they know they’re right.
Jeff Bezos shared this story of something that happened when he was 10 years old:
"My grandfather was driving. And my grandmother had the passenger seat. She smoked throughout these trips, and I hated the smell.
At that age, I'd take any excuse to make estimates and do minor arithmetic. I decided to do the math for my grandmother. I estimated the number of cigarettes per days, estimated the number of puffs per cigarette and so on. When I was satisfied that I'd come up with a reasonable number, I poked my head into the front of the car, tapped my grandmother on the shoulder, and proudly proclaimed, "At two minutes per puff, you've taken nine years off your life!"
I have a vivid memory of what happened, and it was not what I expected. I expected to be applauded for my cleverness and arithmetic skills. Instead, my grandmother burst into tears. I sat in the backseat and did not know what to do. While my grandmother sat crying, my grandfather, who had been driving in silence, pulled over onto the shoulder of the highway. He got out of the car and came around and opened my door and waited for me to follow.
My grandfather looked at me, and after a bit of silence, he gently and calmly said, 'Jeff, one day you'll understand that it's harder to be kind than clever.'”
Bezos concluded, "Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice."
With strict logic, we sometimes do have all the answers. But knowing isn’t everything. We need to exercise good judgement and sense and be sensitive to others who may not be at the same level of understanding.
This anonymous quote sums up the differences well: “Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom is knowing when to say it.”
Wisdom is being able to put situations in perspective, and knowing how and when to impart it to others. And choosing to be kind to others is the root of wisdom. Sometimes a humble heart can help us more than a proud mind. ●