Change your friends to change your life

For most of my adult working life I had always been working in environments where my co-workers were younger than me. I convinced myself that I was living out my calling - empowering young people to be the best versions of themselves - but I suspect the truth is much uglier. I have a feeling that deep down, I feel inadequate mixing with people my age or older. So by subconsciously choosing to hang around a younger crowd, I feel more ‘superior’ and can avoid being judged by peers my age.

Let’s look at this from a sports perspective. Have you been playing badminton or futsal with the same group of people for years now? Chances are it’s because you’re the better player among everyone else.

Learning you have weak spots or discovering you’re not so special after all can really sting, and thinking you’re better than others is a way to protect your ego. It can also hold you back.

Jim Rohn famously said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend time with.”

Rooted in the law of averages, he suggests that the five people you hang around the most will shape you.

Interestingly, your environment, which includes anyone from your friends to colleagues to mentors, always wins. It impacts you far more than you realise. So if you want to make significant and lasting changes to your life, you have to alter some elements of your environment.

If you’re trying to grow into the person you hope to be, it’s recommended that you surround yourself with people who demonstrate the qualities you aspire to achieve.

Meaning: you have to make the difficult decision to hang out less with people who are holding you back and engage with people with positive qualities who will lift you up, who make you want to grow and become a better person yourself.

Are you intentionally aligning yourself with people who spark growth? Or have you fallen (perhaps unconsciously like me) into a stagnant comfort zone of the familiar? ●